1.Smoke weed and drink alcohol
Hút thuốc uống rượu
2. Hair must be shoulder length or longer, OR skin.
Tóc ít nhất cũng dài tớI vai hoặc trọc
3. Drummers must weigh either under 60kg, or over 120kg – NO in betweens.
Tay trống nhẹ hơn 60kg hay nặng hơn 120kg
4. Band logos must be totally undecipherable.
Logo của band chẳng ai hiểu đó là cái gì
5. Song tempos are only allowed to register under 40bpm (extreme), or over 240bpm (extreme).
Tốc độ của bài hát ở dướI 40 lần/phút hay hơn 240 lần/phút
6. Thank-you list must comprise of every extreme metal band in existence (even if you have never met the band or heard their music)
Cảm ơn tất cả các Metal Band tồn tạI,cho dù chưa bao giờ gặp họ hay nghe nhạc củac họ
7. Vocalist must be so extreme, that musical listening will not involve the trite metal genres. Only their own band and Chuck Berry are acceptable listening material.
Tột cùng nhất là Vocal
8. Drummer must be limited to blast beats and grind beats (even at 40bpm)
Trống phảI có tiếng nổ và xay nghiến thậm chí ở tốc độ 40
9. Profess the glory of Satan, especially if you are an atheist.
Tuyên bố sự tôn nghiêm của Sâtan, đặc biệt nếu là nhà vô thần
10. Sing about ancient cultures, and invent your own language to sing in.
Sáng tác về văn hoá cổ,khám phá những tiếng cổ để hát
11. Develop cancer or a tumor of some type.
12. Refer to 1
13. Wear every manner of injury inflicting clothing – manacles, bullet belts, spikey foot bands etc.
14. Sing about the dark lord and/or gore on your first album, and then onto politics and life on all proceeding albums, apparently you ‘have matured’.
Hát về thần chết hoặc máu me trong album đầu. Sau đó thiên về chính trị và cuộc sống. Bề ngoài thì đã có vẻ trưởng thành
15. Wear black. ALWAYS.
Luôn mặc đồ đen
16. Drive a funeral car as transportation for the band.
Phương tiện đi lạI là cái xe hơi trông sắp chết
17. Release an album, then a year later, re-release it with a bonus track just to make people buy the album again.
18. Record twice as many songs as you plan to release, then ten year’s later release it as a collector’s item.
Thu lạI mỗI bài 2 lần trong một thờI kì và 10 năm sau ghi lạI trong album collection
19. Record a whole bunch of new songs, add a high frequency hiss, and cut the low freqencies, then release it as ‘pre-band demo recordings’
20. Guitars must be shaped so that they may be used as a grevous weapon.
Ghi ta phảI sắc và dung như vũ khí lợI hại
21. Never ever have the same band line up for any album or tour.
Luôn thay đổI nhân sự sau mỗI album hay tour
22. Feud with the band members that move on to other bands (good publicity).
THù hận những kẻ đào ngũ
23. Pretend that you ‘hail from Norway’.
Làm ra vẽ”mình là trận cuồng phong tới từ NAUY”
24. Do as many side projects that are humanly possible in your extreme time budget. One band, at least, must feature a female singer (your wife, caus no one else is extreme enough).
25. Albums should either be less than thirty minutes, or exactly sixty six miutes and six seconds.
Album ngắn hơn 30 phút,hay thạm chí chính xác 60 phút 6 giây
26. In summer, black clothing can be hand torn into singlets and shorts to deal with heat (NEVER use scissors)
27. Have a royal throne for a toilet seat/table seat/car seat etc.
Có một ghế của hoàng đế trong TOIlet,bàn hay xe hơi
28. Marry either, a darling cute librarian girl, or a girl with so many piercings, she has more metal in her than a Massey Fergusen tractor.
29. Have 52 metal t-shirts – one for each week of the year.
Có hơn 52 áo Metal T-shỉrt- mỗI cái cho mõi tuần
30. Play only Jackson and/or B.C.Rich guitars.
31. The first letter of every album titles must start at A, and then progress through the alphabet. (Altars of Madness, Blessed Are the Sick, Covenant . . . )
32. Become a ‘specialist producer’ of extreme metal, and build your very own studio in the heart of the Norwegian forest (helps with Forest Metal).
33. Forest metal is running round a DARk forest, with a $10 Casio Keyboard, and a $5 microphone, records your new ‘extreme atmospheric roject’
34. Sing about serial killers only after you’ve met one and formed a relationship with them.
Sáng tác về kẻ giết ngườI chỉ sau khi gặp họ và có 1 mốI quan hệ
35. Never play in key. Chromaticism is the only way.
Chơi gam nửa cung
36. Let keyboard players ‘jump’ from band to band (its the only jumping they’re allowed to do).
Chỉ có tay chơi Keyboard được đào ngũ thoảI mái
37. Claim to have burnt down a church and gone to jail for it (even if you really haven’t).
38. Say the word ‘EXTREME’ and cross your arms in a X shape when you shout it, as often as possible
39. Play the bass finer style if feeling especially extreme.
Chơi Bass dạng Finland nếu cảm thấy tộ cùng
40. Play drums barefoot, or in white socks if feeling especially extreme.
Chơi trống bằng tay không hặc bằng miéng lót giày nếu thấy sung sướng
41. Call everyone ‘Sons of Satan’ even if you are addressing a female.
GọI mọI ngườI là con trai của Sâtan ngay cả khi đó là 1 quý cô
42. Be involved in the porn industry in any way possible, preferably as an actor called ‘Penetrator’ or ‘Frosty-Spire’
43. Play only Axis bass drum pedals.
44. Take speed to be the fastest band on earth.
Tốc đọ cao nhất có thể
45. Smoke weed to be the slowest band on earth.
Hút thuuốc để trở thành BANd chậm nhất
46. Guitars must be tuned lower than Ab before they are considered extreme.
47. Guitar solos must not sound anything like Yngwie Malmsteen or blues, solos must be so fast that fingers bleed.
Solo Guitar không được giống kiểu của Yngwie Malmsteen hay Blues
Solo phảI chơi nhanh và làm cho tay mình trầy máu ra
48. Resurrect black metal bands, call yourself ‘cult’ and then release albums with the Từ Vi Phạmtiest possible production (by refering to rule 33).
49. Television viewing media is restricted to ‘The Simpsons’ and ‘Homicide’.
50. List ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ as your all time favourite movie, only after ‘Debbie Does Dallas’.
51. Tour every country possible, but NEVER EVER New Zealand.
Đi tour mọI nơi,trừ New Zealand
52. Support established extreme metal acts, become famous, and even bigger than these acts, then never have anything to do with them again.
53. Drummers: 3 bars of blast beats followed by 1 bar of drum fills. Repeat. Do not deviate from this pattern, failure to follow these instructions may make you less extreme.
54. Marshall amps suck – Mesa Boogie amps rule.
55. Never use your real name, claim you were given the name ‘Persecuter’ at birth, by your extreme parents.
56. Call your band ‘The Next Generation in Extreme Metal’ (don’t forget to cross your arms) even if you sound like you came straight from the 80’s.
57. Make sure your band name is the same as another band’s name in the other hemisphere.
Làm cho tên band nghe như tớI từ hành tinh khác vậy
58. Cite Darkthrone as a major influence (even if you have never heard them).
Nói rằng Darkhrone ảnh hưởng tớI bạn cho dù chưa nghe nhạc của chúng bao giờ
59. Have even more disturbing album artwork than the last ‘yesterday’ extreme band. Hire a professional uber-gore-meister-artist (primarily yourself – don’t forget to change your name).
60. Murder a person in another band to elevate yourself to extreme infamousness – publicity helps.
61. Say that you’ve recorded at Morrisound Studios, Florida, USA, with Scott Burns as producer.
62. Organise tours with at least 9 bands on the bill.
Tờ quảng cáo tour có hơn 9 band
63. If you are the main act, leave only enough room on the stage for all the other bands to fit on, except for the drummer.
Nếu là chủ Tour,chỉ dành chỗ vừa đủ trên Sân khấu cho tất cả cá band khác.Trừ tay trống
64. Always have two (or more) bass drums.
Ít nhất là có 2 trống trầm
65. Head band until you get told by the doctor that those headaches indicate the possibility of serious brain damage. Carry on headbanging anyway because it is extreme.
66. When singing live, always do ‘vocal bails’ – do a low growl, because you know that when you go pussy high, you are going to fail it miserably.
67. Refer to 1.
68. Tell everyone that you are going to write all album material by yourself because the music and lyrics are headed in the wrong direction.
69. Join your wife’s band.
70. Record an extreme metal video in ONLY ONE (1) of FOUR (4) possibly locations i) A Church, ii) A Graveyard, iii) A Forest, iv) A Castle.
Ghi những đoạn Video metal tuyệt cùng nhất có thể ở những nơi sau:Chùa,nghĩa địa,rừng,pháo đài
71. If rule 70 ends up being too extensive, paint your band practice room black (it should be already, unless you are un-extreme), wear all black, and have different coloured instruments, so that viewers can only make out them, and your faces (which are white).
72. Bite a dove’s head off (or substitue for any form of fowl)
73. All band photos must involve you holding a gun or axe.
Pho to của band bắt buộc có khẩu sung hay cái rìu
74. All band photos must feature naked women looking like your loyal slaves.
Hình của band phảI có một cô gái naked trông như là nô lệ trung thành của bạn vậy
75. Get rid of your drummer because he is too slow – get a drum machine instead.
LoạI bỏ tay trống vì hắn chơi quá chậm,dung trống điện tử vậy
76. Sing in as many different bands as you can possibly whore yourself too, and be totally un-committed to any of them. Unreliable as **** = extreme.
77. Record a Slayer cover.
Cover lạI 1 bài của Slayer
78. After a band ‘calls it a day’, attempt to contact Rob Halford to start a new band.
79. Or alternatively, Phil Anselmo to ressurect a dead band.
80. Rip off as many samples from horror movies as possible to use in your extreme album. Copyright is for pussies.
81. Triggered drums are the only way to go, even if your snare sounds like a 6″ tom.
82. Experience a heroin overdose, live through it, and say that you had to come back because Satan told you that you must piss more people off.
83. Say that you are a Satanist and that you only listen to black metal.
84. Say ‘Morbid Angel is the best f***ing death metal band in the world”.
85. A toilet is the best place to keep beer and alcohol chilled.
86. Kill your offspring if they become house/trance DJ’s.
87. Admit you used to air guitar to KISS and that Gene Simmons is your God.
88. Listen and air drum to Motley Crue’s ‘Dr. FeelGood’ album (yes its ok to do that).
89. Splatter as much fake blood on stage and your audience as stated in the rules of accordance in hiring your venue.
90. Wait, rules are for pussies.
91. Try to get your long hair stuck in as many people’s mouths as possible in the audience.
92. Sing so brutal and low, so that people who even know your lyrics, can’t sing along, thus sound pussy in comparison to you. Exert your EXTREME DOMINANCE.
93. Recording a jam session in a blizzard on the snowy slopes of Norway is part of the pre-production for your new album.
94. Destroy as many hotel rooms as possible while on tour.
95. Beware of power metal album covers that look like black metal album covers – deception can be brutal.
96. Your middle name must be that of a weapon, succeeded by the word ‘The’. eg. “John ‘The Missle/Axe/Torpedo’ Smith”
97. Wearing leather pants means they must be tight enough to show a dick print.
98. Corpse paint is compulsory when meeting the inlaws.
99. Lay down the smack on all people not as extreme as you, exert your dominance extremely.
100. Work/Live by a steel factory and claim that ‘metal has been in my blood from a young age’ (caus there was no restriction on air pollution).
101. The most important rule of extreme metal: ‘In order to create art of the most truest form of extreme metal, one must live it. Kill yourself and die, and only then can you write and perform the most extreme of X-TREME metal possible.
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